The Discovery

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Today we found out that we are expecting our first baby! I am almost 5 weeks pregnant. I could not be more excited!

I have been having odd symptoms and should have had my period 3 days ago. I have been cramping (lightly), having hot flashes, heartburn.. It just was strange! When my period didn't come I thought "well, maybe..." and so I got a pregnancy test from the dollar store, not really thinking too much of it. When the second line showed up (faintly), I was confused. Immediately I Googled it and apparently even a faint line means preeeeeegnant! 

SO, I showed Mike and we decided a second more reliable test was in order. Off I went to Walmart, got the ClearBlue Digital test, and ventured home. Immediately I went in and took the test. You have to let it sit flat for 3 minutes and I was SO nervous, so I brushed my teeth, washed my face and hands, and then left the room. I asked Mike if he wanted to look at the result with me, or should I check first. He said he wanted to check, and so he did. I stood in the doorway and he checked. 

"What does it say?" I asked.

"Pregnant.." He replied, "That's so crazy!"

So here we are.. new mom and dad to be, standing in the bathroom doorway in shock. I hug him, and I'm sort of shaking (happily!) because it's sinking in for me. Mike on the other hand is still a bit in shock, and it hasn't really sunk in too much for him.

We sat quietly and I looked up some things about the baby and how far along I am. Downloaded some apps that track my pregnancy, etc.

Dear baby,

You are the size of a poppyseed this week. That's incredibly tiny! I'm going to do everything I can to take care of you, I promise. I'm going to eat healthy, and go for walks, and keep my stress low. I love you so much already, more than you'll ever know. Your dad and I are already so excited to meet you, and you won't even be here until August! In the meantime, please just focus on growing. That's all you have to do. I will take care of the rest because I'm your momma :)

Love,
me... your mom!

happiest day of my life

xo momma b

How You Can Tell Your 'Manly Man' Loves You

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I don't know about you ladies, but my boyfriend is the most stereotypical "male in a relationship" that I have ever known.
He doesn't talk about feelings.
He jokes about everything.
He can't pick a card or write a love note to save his life.
He forgets things I say or things that I hint about.

Now, don't get me wrong, this is in NO way, shape, or form a rant. It's actually the opposite. I am head over heels in love with my manly enigma of a boyfriend. In fact, I think it's the fact that he isn't as open as others may be that truly makes the things he DOES do more special. That's what makes everything he does for me all the more sweet.

But since I have spent almost the entire duration of our relationship trying to decipher him, I feel I've become a bit of an expert on this subject. I thought that there MUST be other women out there who aren't sure how their emotionally reserved boyfriend feels, as well.

So I have to tell you - everything you think that he ISN'T telling you, he actually is.
Without further adieu...

How You Can Tell That Your "Manly Man" Loves You
1. He Asks About Your Life
If your boyfriend asks you about the job interview you just had, how your day with your mom was, what you thought of the movie you saw with your friends, or anything along those lines you can be pretty sure he actually cares. If he didn't, he wouldn't bother asking. Trust me. And whatever you do, don't respond with "Do you even want to know!?".

2. He Calls and/or Texts When You're Apart
I don't even care how "obvious" this seems, as soon as it's happening to you, you will forget this, I can almost guarantee it. If you find yourself sitting around, waiting for texts, and asking "Why doesn't he ever text ME?", chances are that he isn't too interested in you or the relationship. NOW, that being said, I don't mean a text every hour on the hour. What I DO mean is, if he initiates conversations with you. If in the morning he says "good morning". If he calls you for no reason. If he starts a conversation AT ALL, it is because he wants to, and he likes you. Any guy who likes you will make an effort to talk to you.

3. He Talks About You To Friends/Family
If your guy is into you, he will talk about you. And I don't mean the skeezy, d-bag talk about hooking up and what-not. I mean respectful things about the great girl he met, what she does for work, what she's like, etc. If he does that, pretty good bet he is into you. Oh, and if he's too busy doing that OTHER kind of talking, might want to consider cutting him loose!

4. He Talks About The Future
"My buddy is getting married next June, you should come with me", "Oh man, we should go to Jamaica this winter". Those are two things that a guy who is only thinking short term won't say. If he's envisioning you in his future, there's a reason for that.

5. He Asks For Your Advice
He may not take the advice you offer (Mike rarely takes mine, haha!) but if he ASKS what you think, he values your opinion, and trusts you enough to open up to you. Always be honest, don't say what you think he wants to hear. He will value your honesty, and your help, whether he applies your suggestion or not.

6. He Says So
Most guys don't throw those 3 words around. Some people believe that the more someone tells you they love you, the less special it is. I disagree. When a man tells you he loves you, it means something to him. He feels it. Believe me that the more you hear it, the more he feels it. He may not say it out of nowhere as often as you'd like, but even if he says it on his way out the door for work, or if he says it at the end of every phone call, it doesn't mean any less to him. Guys are generally pretty straight forward, and they speak their minds.

I don't want anyone to consider these tips the be all and end all of deciphering their boyfriend. There are always exceptions to every rule! These are just some of the ways I have learned that my boyfriend shows his feelings (besides physical affection and presents).

Does your boyfriend do these? Or anything different?
Let me know!

I Have a Confession..

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I like to think I keep a relatively clean home.. But Mike will be the first to tell you that is not the case.

I have a confession.
I am messy.

This is a big thing for me to admit to you guys.
Really.
I want SO badly to be one of those neat and tidy ladies.
The perfect home maker.
The perfect wife.
But I'm messy and lazy and sometimes it shows.

That being said I will usually tidy before a guest comes over.
I'll put crap in closets.
Garbage in bags.
Dishes in the dishwasher.
Okay, so some might say I "hide" some things, too.

But any other time? Stuff is everywhere. My craft area is our living room right now. There is fabric all over the couch, and odds and ends on our coffee table.

When I was little I was SO weird, I would go to friend's houses and tidy their rooms.
Organize their drawers.
Rearrange their things.
They loved it.
What happened to that girl?

I want to learn to be motivated, but I am terrified that this is something I'm not going to master. Maybe someday.. Maybe when I have a baby to take care of.. But I probably won't have the time then! I HAVE the time now, so what is WRONG with me!? I really, really, REALLY hope that I change soon. I want it to be super clean in our new home.
I want it to be beautiful.
Our first house.

Today I read a post on one of my favourite blogs, Little Miss Momma. It was basically about this same subject. Ashley (the author) chose prayer and found it helped her. Admittedly I have not tried that yet, but at the end of her entry she said this:

Try it.
Prayer, I mean.
Even if you’re not the praying type.
Even if you don’t believe in the same God I do, or any God for that matter.
Even if you’ve been disappointed in the past.
Try the form of prayer that works for you.
Maybe it’s meditation, or journal writing, or just a few moments of uninterrupted time to yourself and your thoughts. Try using this time to reconnect with your partner, to get back on the same page, and start your morning with the tools needed to equip you for your day.

That really got me.

The other day Michael spent a good 45 minutes cleaning our kitchen spotless. And tonight as I took a glass to the sink and popped some popcorn, I noticed that after having cooked dinner that spotless kitchen was a mess again, and I felt terrible. I felt like I was entirely to blame. I mean, I made the mess after all. I made the meal..

So I have decided that whenever there is something that needs to be done (cleaning, working out, packing - whatever it may be) I am going to jump on Pinterest for a quick 15 minute bout of exploration. I will look at cleaning tips and tricks, organization ideas, pictures of beautiful, clean homes. I will read Ashley's blog. I will take 15 minutes to try and motivate myself in that way. My form of prayer. And hopefully it will become routine.

I will make each day great.
I will be proactive.
I will be awesome.

I can do this.

xo
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Playing Catch Up

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Oh you guys, I am so sorry for abandoning you for so long! I have a few excuses, though. One being Thanksgiving. Second being writer's block. Third being.. well, life.


our first Thanksgiving as our own little family unit
THANKSGIVING
In Canada Thanksgiving is in October. Other than that it's the exact same as American Thanksgiving. We eat a lot of food, watch football, and take naps. I touched on Thanksgiving briefly in my last post because I was feeling a bit down, but my Thanksgiving, and every holiday really, tend to be a bit more busy than your average person's!

My parents have not been together since I was 3, so I got pretty used to spreading myself out amongst my two families for holidays. However THIS year, I have a serious boyfriend who I live with, so that's another family added in. PLUS we are our own little family, so that makes 4. Yep. In total Mike and I had 4 Thanksgiving gatherings. It. Was. Wonderful. Thank God I don't believe in weighing myself because I probably gained 87 pounds. Hey, you never know.


Mike and I in his aunt's backyard at Thanksgiving
WRITER'S BLOCK
This is the worst. There were 3 instances where I thought to myself "Hmm, I should blog right now", but then I had ab-so-luuuutely no idea what to write. I didn't want to bring you guys a half bummed entry! Though I'm not sure this one is any better..

LIFE!
I have a cold. I have a boyfriend who likes my attention. I have a bed that's just really comfortable, okay!? I really don't have much more... besides video games, and maybe random errands......


our pretty pumpkins and door (for 6 more weeks!)
Ha. Well, anyway. I AM working on something really great right now. I am pretty excited about it and even more excited to present it to you guys. That's all I'm going to say for now, but stay tuned. I will keep you in the loop, I promise!

xo
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Time For a Change

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Have you ever sat in front of a mirror, on a chair or on your bed? Looking at yourself straight on with your thighs all squashed out, your stomach rolls bunching up, and everything in a terribly unflattering position..? Well, I was getting ready for one of our Thanksgiving gatherings this weekend and as I sat on the edge of our bed putting my makeup on I took a long, hard look at myself. Then I did it again as I sat on a bench at Mike's aunt's house, putting my boots on my fat legs, seeing my big arms and wide shoulders.

I do NOT understand why I allow myself to look this way.
I do NOT understand why I let myself get this bad.
I do NOT understand why I'm so lazy, unmotivated, and unsuccessful.

But I DO understand that it can't continue.

I'll admit a secret to you - I can't wait to have a baby. I am baby crazy right now as I daydream about my future with Michael. And one thing I know very well is that is it not good to carry excess weight when you are tying to get pregnant, or when you are having a baby.

That SHOULD be all I need to motivate me. That should be enough. That PLUS the view of myself while sitting, or in pictures.. THAT should be MORE than enough.

But it isn't.
WHY?

I need motivation. I need determination. I need strength and willpower. I lack all of these things that make it possible to make a lifestyle change and get fit.


My past haunts me. Last September I started running using the app Ease Into 5k (formerly called Couch to 5k). The app plays your music while it teaches beginners how to run in 9 weeks. In October I started a 6 week program at Get Fit Bootcamp. From September to mid October I lost 30lbs running alone. I lost an additional 20 from running and bootcamp in the following 6 weeks. The program I was in was a trial, and I got in for free. I was blessed with that. However, I couldn't afford to continue going.

Then the snow came. I tried to run in the winter but it was more difficult to breathe, and very difficult to run on the ice. So I stopped running all together. My mother got me a membership at the YMCA so I could run indoors. I went once. We canceled it. I tried to run in the spring, but it was too wet and muddy. Then the summer came and it was too hot. Excuse after excuse, issue after issue, and the pounds came back. Before long I had gained back everything that I had lost. I am so sad and disappointed in myself.

That brings us to now. I have started at Get Fit again; I've been going for 2 weeks, this week is my third. And I really want to start running again, but up until now I have lacked the motivation. I'm hoping to start tonight, actually. I go to bootcamp at noon on Monday, Wednesday, and Friday, so I'm hoping to run on Tuesday and Thursday, and if I can find the motivation, Saturday as well.

I'm hoping by sharing this story with all of you, you will help me stay motivated. I figured if I make my struggle public like this that I HAVE to stick to it, or else I won't only fail, but I will also be embarrassed. This way there is something holding me accountable. Right?

I will update occasionally, but not every day. Every blog regarding my struggle will be tagged with "weight loss", "life", and "personal", so you have 3 tags to find the entries under. I'm going to try and continue my life as normal, and not place a large amount of emphasis on this so I do not become overwhelmed. It shouldn't be overwhelming. It should just be a gradual lifestyle change that I can maintain for the rest of my life.


If you have any stories, comments, suggestions, words of encouragement, please leave them for me. I'd love to see them. Feel free to follow my blog via bloglovin' or via google (the link is in my sidebar). And if you have a blog that you'd like me to follow, I'd be more than happy to.

Here goes nothin'!

xo
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Welcome!

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Welcome to my newest adventure!

My boyfriend Michael and I

I'm Misty Blue, a 26 year old from Ontario, Canada! After blog-stalking for years, I decided it was high time for me to give this a try for myself. I'm currently job searching (hopefully not for too much longer), so I have a lot of free time on my hands (a generous chunk of it is spent on Pinterest, not gonna lie) and I figured, why not give blogging a try!?

Clumsy Companion is the name I landed on because I am very new to being the woman of the house, a homeowner, a "wifey", a caretaker, and the person that others rely on for various things like dinner and clean laundry. So far I am bumbling through it (happily!), making mistakes, and doing things horribly wrong. But would life really be fun if we never made any mistakes? I know I'd personally never learn a thing!! So here it is, all laid out for you, the honest examples of my every day life.

I live with my incredible and spirited boyfriend Michael, who has so much happiness inside of him sometimes I'm not sure how he doesn't explode! He balances me out so perfectly. We have a lot in common, but like any couple, we butt heads time and again. This was discovered to be very true when we had to design our new home. Cupboards, tiles, counter tops, carpet.. We had differing opinions in all things design. However, it actually came together a lot more easily than I thought it would! I am SO excited for our home to be built so I can see how beautiful it looks, and begin turning our first house into a home, that I am counting down each and every single day until we move.

Some of the things I love are hikes, photography, crafts, colouring (you're never too old to colour!), cooking and baking, spending time with family, finding sales, and traveling (which I don't get to do enough of, frankly!). This blog will probably have a lot of posts related to the aforementioned passions of mine, as well as general posts about my life, my family, and my relationship. I'm also hoping to have some of my amazing and crafty friends pop in for a guest post here and there. All in all I think there is a lot to look forward to, so I hope you will follow along with me on this crazy journey I call my life.

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